"Experience a welcome you have never had before," comes the spoken invitation.

"A welcome like no other. Welcome to… Saudi Arabia!"

We are asked to believe that the desert kingdom has become a holiday haven to rival the Caribbean, Seychelles or the south of France.

Really? The last time I was there - I was smuggled into Mecca to observe the men-only Islamic Games - it was like stepping back into mediaeval times.

Burqas were compulsory for women who ventured from their homes, walking dutifully behind a necessary male companion.

Visiting airline stewardesses even needed to pack one.

And wives and children were not allowed to eat in the same room as men in hotels or restaurants.

Maybe things have changed for the better, but female holidaymakers should try taking a stroll through the backstreets of capital Riyadh in a mini skirt, even a figure-hugging trouser suit, and see what happens.

Shorts were not de rigueur for men, either. And as for bikinis on the beach…

How about sipping a cool daiquiri or supping a litre of lager in the seafront bistro in Jeddah? No chance.

Saudi is as dry as the desert heat.

Booze is still banned and anyone attempting a BYOB risks a public lashing.

Perhaps I am doing the Saudis disservice.

It may be that there is a genuine attempt to haul the nation into the modern world.

On the other hand, it could be just a cynical exercise to present Saudi Arabia as a friendly, forward-thinking country, refurbishing its current image as one where there is little or no regard for human rights.

Either way, the new developments are based on the success of a massive investment in "sportswashing", the staging of major international sports events in carefully selected oases of liberalism to improve the tarnished image.

The Saudi rulers are dab hands at this simply because they can throw unlimited petro-dollars into the coffers of sports bodies and personalities to deflect attention from human rights aberrations or corruption scandals.

It is estimated that Saudi Arabia has spent at least $1.5 billion (£1.2 billion/€1.4 billion) on acquiring high-profile sporting events, which range from World Title fights to the Formula One Grand Prix, a highly controversial Saudi International golf event which is part of the European tour (women golfers from overseas can now compete in Saudi but must wear ankle-length trousers and not skirts), chess tournaments, football Super Cup finals and international tennis tournaments.

Next up is likely to be another "clash on the dunes" world heavyweight title fight in July between Britain's Anthony Joshua and the accomplished Ukrainian Oleksandr Usyk, who has now taken AJ’s belts.

Britain’s current world champion, the supposedly retired Tyson Fury, is said to have been offered $200 million to defend against the winner in Saudi this autumn.

Among other sporting extravaganzas held in Saudi is the world's richest horse race, the $20 million Saudi Cup at the King Abdulaziz Stadium in Riyadh.

Saudi is already a major player in British racing and now has a long-sought stronghold foothold in Premier League football with the much-debated acquisition of Newcastle United.

The fact that Newcastle plans to wear Saudi national colours on their away shirt next season is, according to Amnesty International a "clear evidence of sport washing" and has created concern among protest groups in the UK.

Likewise, the proposed Premier Golf League, spearheaded by Australian Greg Norman, has been condemned as another attempt to use sport for base political reasons.

Such events are held in purpose-built and stage-managed pockets of liberalism.

The sportswashing ambitions of instigator Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, who many believe was behind the killing of dissident journalist Jamal Khashoggi in Istanbul, seem to know no bounds.

It is not beyond reason to suggest that Saudi Arabia has eyes on the Olympics.

The Games of 2032 and beyond are up for grabs and by then they could be the only nation to afford them.

Moreover, the mindset of the International Olympic Committee (IOC) moves in mysterious ways.

Like Russia, Saudi Arabia quite literally seems to be able to get away with murder - as the fiancé of Khashoggi can testify.

Maybe things are changing but Saudi is still a long way from being Butlins by the sea.

I am reminded of the retort by the late Sir Alf Ramsey years ago when the mayor of Glasgow greeted the England team on their arrival for the annual match against Scotland.

"Welcome to Glasgow," he beamed.

"'Welcome? You must be bleedin’ jokin'," the incorrigibly xenophobic Ramsey was heard to mutter.